Full Circle

by ....RaeDi

© 2008 ….RaeDi
I had heard it said repeatedly since I was young, each life will go in a full circle. As a child and even a young adult, I wondered what going in a full circle meant. To me, it was a very perplexing statement for the entirety of my life until here recently. I had not a clue, no understanding as to the gist of the true essence of what it would take to go full circle or what one should feel.  I had wondered at times if I would even know when it happened.

It took me until I was fifty-one years old before I knew what it truly meant. My life and its direction and lifestyle would all undergo an all-encompassing transformation of my complete being. I knew instantly when I had gone full circle.

It was an exceptional hot early evening. The phone rang; I had been waiting for this call for several days. The time had been fast approaching. I had my bag packed and everything in order for this most special of occasions.  I would be present, and unknowingly I would play a significance role, the role of my lifetime in just a few short hours. There were no rehearsals, no planning on my part. I thought I would be an observer. I was happy to be an eyewitness to this amazing appearance.

The reality had not set in as we drove the thirty-one miles to our destination. The trip, for the most part, was quite. My mind was thinking about whom I had been. How this would change me and would I ever be as I was before. My purpose in life I instinctively knew was about to change. This amplification of my enter spirit being would only be enhanced; the part of my life that had the most meaning and enjoyment was going to swell further than I had known possible. I had no idea at the expanse this would bring my spirit. I have heard from so many who have gained this status nothing in this world can you compare it with.

We arrived at our destination and all was going as planned. I had been afraid that I would miss it; I would not be there for the special revealing, I so wanted to experience it firsthand. We knocked and we heard a familiar voice call, “Come on in, the door is unlocked.” We opened the door all was quiet, and we looked at each other to see if we either one knew what was going on. Then a person appeared down the hall and told us we could come on in. As we approached the room, we looked, and our eyes locked, we both were being held in our own expectancy. 

Everything seemed so quiet. The closer we got to the room we both then heard the soft classical music playing. The drapes were drawn and a lamp with defused light was the only glow in the room. Everything was going as planned. I had questioned and even had anticipation of the decision of where this would take place. I had prayed there would be no concerns or problems to visit this small home during this special time.

Within thirty minutes of our arrival, it came about. I knew what coming full circle meant. The birth of the most precious little fella I would get to know, and I would have the honor, the privilege of separating his lifeline, his link to his mother; he was now on his own. I was then told to take him, I was being honored this special blessing of being the first one to hold this ever so small little boy.

As I held my only Grand baby, a boy with skin the color of pearls, and he had the lightest rufus colored hair. He was the exact image of his father at his birth. I was holding my Grandson and looking at him, his perfect little fingers, and toes, his body the same build as his father. He came into this world as quietly as the dimness of the light in the room. Both his parents were in tears, this brand new Grandmother was in tears as I took inventory. I was so taken by the miracle of life in itself.


It was while I was holding him that I come to know what “Full Circle” meant. I had just come full circle in my life. Up to this point, I was encompassing-encircling for the completion of my circle, for this very moment. The circle was complete. As I held this precious gift from our Lord, I was giving thanks for him.

I heard someone speak faintly, “His name is Noah Mathias, the son of Andrew Paul.” I was a Grandmother, and as I looked from my firstborn – my Son to my Grandson, I gave my thanks for all the goodness that our Lord has blessed me with; this blessing would be so cherished. My circle of life was complete. I had a new perspective now on my life.  My understanding came instantly as I held my Grand baby.  I knew why so many individuals in my life who had already experienced this had spoken how dearly it had changed their lives like nothing else. I also knew I was going to love being a ‘Mema.’ “Welcome to my world RudiRue. I love you more my little fella.”

Since RudiRue’s birth, I have come to the realization that going “Full Circle” is as individualized and each individual. No one’s “Full Circle” is the same. I also have become conscious of the colors in each individual circle. All the experiences and challenges, all the highs and the lows and everything in between are represented in each of our circles. Now when I see a rainbow it means so much more to me. I now realize the events for the rest of my life; while I am here on earth will bring completeness in the whole of the circle. When I took my leave for a few moments so Noah’s parents could have time with just him, I was sitting out on their balcony. As I sat there, a sunset of every color in the rainbow appeared across the horizon. To me the Lord was showing His full blessings of the events that had just taken place. I believe my many blessings will add to the total sum for the better part of the whole of my circle of life….